


and the things left unsaid

by Pikajimin



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, The Gangs All Here, also i am sorry, broken!joowon, didi thanks, sad face
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 08:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7633876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikajimin/pseuds/Pikajimin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are things that Hyungwon wished he said and things that he wished he never said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and the things left unsaid

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Untouchable](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/217993) by Wongfu Productions. 



> Didi, I would like to formally apologize for this. This isn't what you expected. I am sorry.

“Jooheon’s here tonight,” Minhyuk says. 

“I saw,” Hyungwon answers. 

“You should talk to him. You know there are things that you need to say,” the elder states. 

“I know,” he says softly. 

     Hyungwon takes a sip of his beer. Minhyuk places a hand on his shoulder and gives it a squeeze for reassurance.  He sighs. It's been a good two months since Jooheon and him broke up. And it's been a month and half since they last saw each other. There are things he didn't get to say and things that never should have left his mouth. He regrets not saying the words left unsaid to the Jooheon. It wouldn't have made a difference in the end. He takes another sip of his beer and closes his eyes. Fuck, he hates this so much. 

“You need to talk to him,” Minhyuk says. 

     He knows this. He needs to tell Jooheon everything that was meant to be said. He needs to tell the younger male how sorry he is. (Sorry won't fix anything, and he knows it.) There are words left unsaid and he thinks maybe they are better off not being said. He has imagined how this situation could play out and none of which end happily ever after.  He’s replayed the whole break up in his mind for weeks, and he’s lost sleep because of it. It left him regretting words he yelled in the heat of the moment. It left him words left unsaid and never heard. It left him with the image of Jooheon crying. He’s spent nights crying over that night and it still hurts. It hurts like hell. 

    Minhyuk tells him that he’s leaving. He’s left alone on the balcony.  It's a starless night much like the night they broke up. It feels so empty. He feels so empty. A piece of him is missing and it's his own fault. He knows that that piece is not coming back. Jooheon’s better off without him. The younger male is doing much better without him. The only reason he knows this is because Minhyuk tells him. The balcony door slides open. He doesn’t bother looking at who it is. He doesn’t care. “Hey,” Jooheon says. Hyungwon turns around and Jooheon is standing in the doorway, a beer in his hands and a hoodie that swallows him whole, a hoodie that he knows very well who it belongs to. 

“Hey,” he says softly. 

     At this point, he wants to leave. He wants to run away. But he can’t. There are words that need to be said. There’s an apology sitting at the back of his throat ready to be said, but also ready to be swallowed and long forgotten. 

“How are you?” he asks. 

“I’m fine,” Jooheon answers. 

“No, how are you really?” he questions. 

“I’m fine, really. Why are you asking?” Jooheon answers. 

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. 

“Sorry isn’t going to fix anything if that’s what you are trying to do,” the younger states. 

“I know. I should have told you sorry a long time ago,” Hyungwon answers. 

   The silence sits heavy between them. Hyungwon feels like he is going to suffocate because of the lack of air. He knew that sorry isn’t going to fix shit. It never does, especially if it's with Jooheon. He takes a sip of his now warm beer and it burns going down his throat. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe. He feels like an idiot. He knew for a fact that there is no chance that their relationship would be a happily ever after. 

“It still doesn’t make a difference Hyungwon. What you said still hurt,” Jooheon says. 

“I know and I’m fucking sorry. I said words that hurt you and I shouldn’t have said them. I was angry and upset. And those words were never meant to be said,” he answers. 

“But they were said,” the younger male states. 

“You don’t know how many days I spent regretting everything that came out of my mouth that night. You don’t know how many times that I want to call you and apologize. You don’t know how many times that I wanted to call you and tell you how much I miss you,” Hyungwon says. 

“I don’t want to be your drunk call. I don’t want to be that three in the morning call when you need someone,” Jooheon replies. 

“Fuck, Jooheon! It wasn’t like that!” Hyungwon exclaims. 

“Then what was it like? Because it sounds like it to me. It sounds like you only needed me when you were in need of someone to listen to you about your stories. I don’t want to be that person!” Jooheon shouts. 

   Hyungwon wants to scream and yell. He wants to leave. He needs to leave, or everything is going to turn out the same way as the day they broke up. Jooheon is still standing in the doorway. Everyone is watching them. He spots Hyunwoo and Hoseok ready to whisk Jooheon away if need be. He sees Changkyun standing by Kihyun, who is whispering to Changkyun. This wasn’t how everything was supposed to happen. It was supposed to go more calmly and no one was going to yell. He was to apologize to Jooheon and then leave it at that. 

“This wasn’t how I imagined this,” Hyungwon says. 

“This isn’t one of your stories, Hyungwon. You and I aren’t characters from a story. We don’t get happily ever afters,” Jooheon states. 

“I know that! I just wanted things to be okay. I wanted things to go right,” he answers. 

“We are real people, Hyungwon. You have to face reality. You can’t keep living in your written world that you created,” the younger replies. 

“You don’t think I know that? You don’t think that I,for one second, think that this isn’t a story! I know it isn’t a story!” he yells. 

“Then why were you trying to make it be one? I’m not the perfect character you created and neither are you. We are just two people, two human beings,” the shorter male answers. 

    Hyungwon takes a deep breathe. Jooheon is right. They aren’t some characters that he created for the sake of writing. They are human beings that live in reality. He should face reality and move on. Because he knows Jooheon has. He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. He gathers his thoughts before speaking this time. 

“I’m sorry. I think it’s best if I leave,” he says. 

     Jooheon moves out of the doorway. He walks past the younger male and doesn’t say a word. He walks by Hoseok and Hyunwoo, but doesn’t look at them. His eyes are glued to the floor as he leaves the party. 

    There are words left unsaid like  _ ‘I love you’ _ or  _ ‘Move in with me’ _ . But it wouldn’t have changed anything. It wouldn’t have fixed the mess that Hyungwon made. It wasn’t going to bring Jooheon back. 


End file.
